Notice: This piece was selected for publishing as an open opinion piece by an unaffiliated contributor.
How is what YOU do, in any way similar to fraternity/sorority HAZING? Before you say “in NO way!”…stop and reflect a little.
I know, not all fraternity “hazing” ends in death, though it is now illegal in California. But no matter how benign it seems, having to jump a lot of hurdles in order to GAIN ACCESS, is a problem for people seeking mental health treatment…or even getting the listening ear of a friend or parent.
Can we prevent the emotional/social pain sometimes inflicted on someone SEEKING ACCESS? Getting access to faith-based or mental health services, to school counselors, to peers or even distracted parents, can sometimes feel like “hazing”…the things we are asked to do, the price we are asked to pay.
How bad does someone want or need access? To what extent are hurdles placed in the way to find out “how high they will jump”? Some people “do what they are told”…are they considered fools (even by those whose services they seek) for not knowing when to stop seeking?
This Atlantic story is sad, but thought provoking.
It brings to my mind, another old story about a woman seeking help for her ill daughter, which suggests that even caregivers can learn from care seekers. Her daughter dying, the woman bowed down before the healer (as required by custom) and begged him to help her. His first response was, “It’s not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”, meaning…he’s only going to heal the really sick people, and those who are in my neighborhood, so to speak. To that, she said, “Yes, but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their owners’ tables.”. Comparing herself with hungry dogs seemed to make a difference. With that, he said, “Your faith is great and it shall be done for you as you wish.” And he healed her daughter at once.
I know scripture readers might argue with my interpretation here, but my point is, even Jesus felt he was only there for certain people and she had to do a little cajoling to get what SHE BELIEVED HE COULD DO. Compassionate or convicted – either way you interpret it – the healer, healed.
But why did she have to beg first? Did he know before she even started the conversation that he was going to help her? Was he “hazing” her a little? Did she have to prove her faith in him first? Or did he have to find her “worthy” of his time? Or did the “hazing” actually show him that his “treatment” was going to work on her prepared/faithful soul? Maybe there was another way to get THAT information…
In the end, she had her daughter back, healthy and whole. I wonder how SHE felt after that conversation. Of course, she felt grateful to the healer for his work. But I wonder if SHE felt healthy and whole, too.
“Advocate for mental health. Work to end STIGMA of mental illness.”